John Barosa's Scam Dictionary

Here are some useful words to send to scammers (And their meanings)


 * Glarded - A type of fund that cannot be transferred into an account in a tax clode without an inoppolity certificate. Origin "I cannot transfer the funds as they are glarded."
 * Glard amount - The maximum amount of money that can be transferred without it entering a glard. Also referred to as glard beginning amount and glard threshold. "The funds will become glarded if we send money over the glard amount of $£€200."
 * Glardation - The process of a fund becoming glarded. "The bank will make the funds enter a glardation".
 * Glatian information - Information relating to a glard. "Send me your grature card so I can see the glatian information".
 * Clode-bypass-secure-glard - A very annoying type of glard which locks the funds in the rencil vault for 10 times the normal time, extends both account's clodes by 2 months and lowers the glard amount of both accounts. "I can't pay the fee because my account was locked into a clode-bypass-secure-glard."
 * Tax Clode - A state that an account can be in that means that glarded funds cannot be transferred to it without the inoppolity certificate. Origin "My account is in a tax clode."
 * Clode status - The type of clode. "What is your clode status?"
 * Insitus - A clode status which means that glarded funds have to go to the rencil vault. "Your grature card says that your are in an insitus clode until February."
 * Inoppolity certificate - A certificate that is needed to transfer glarded funds to an account in a tax clode. "You need to send me the inoppolity certificate so we can transfer the funds."
 * Grature Card - A special card that can be requested at the bank that has lots of information about the account eg. clode status, glard amount, ID etc. "Send me your grature card"
 * Concation Center - A place where boxes containing valuable substances can be dropped off to be collected. "Don't worry, I can collect the gold box from the concation center."
 * Rencil vault - A vault in the bank where glarded funds go for a certain period until they are released to the receiver. "My funds got locked in the rencil vault."
 * Rencil period - The amount of time before the funds in the rencil vault are released. This can be different depending on your bank. "The rencil period will be very long if the bank sees that we are making payments with gift cards."
 * Rencile - A severe account grappolation where the account is blocked from making any form of transactions. "My account was placed in a rencile".
 * Glode - Unknown meaning
 * Glode multiplier - The amount a fund gets multiplied by, sometimes making very large numbers. For example if the scammer writes $4,000,000.00 (FOUR MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) then the part in brackets becomes the glode multiplier and the fund becomes around 16 trillion. "I assume that the part in brackets is a glode multiplier, so is the amount actually 16 trillion dollars?"
 * Rentance - Unknown meaning
 * Rentance observer - A person that checks the suspiciousness of glardworthy transactions. "The rentance observer might see that we are making suspicious transactions.
 * QuickiFund - A money transfer website that John may or may not work at. It is not used by many people, however it has good grappolation protection. "Fuck you don't use QuickiFund, I will never give you the information."
 * Can of Transfer - A can which must be placed on funds to bypass any glards. However, the funds can only be protected if they are under a certain amount (Usually much lower than the glardation amount). [Origin of Can of Transfer ]
 * QuickiFund ID/I'D - A unique number given to every QuickiFund member.
 * QuickiFund transaction ID - A string of letters and numbers which is used to semi-securely transfer the funds from one account to another.
 * QuickiFund Mesh System - An advanced system where the funds are split up by supercomputers at QuickiFund HQ, protected by the Can of Transfer and sent back to the user.
 * QuickiFund Mesh Reconstruction - Users need to use this to reassemble their glard protected funds.
 * QuickiFund Backup - If the mesh fails at some point during the protection/deglarding period, backups of the funds are stored and can be sent back to the user if something goes wrong. These funds will not be in the Can of Transfer, however, meaning that the user must quickly send the funds back through the mesh so a scammer does not steal it.
 * QuickiFund Can Incineration - When the glard protected funds are securely received, the cans of transfer are no longer needed. These are slowly removed over a period of time, dependant on the amount of money being transferred and the status of any clodes which had to be bypassed to make the transaction possible.
 * Incineration Token - Each QuickiFund user gets 100 incineration tokens per year. These are used to buy time to incinerate the unused cans.